And it was so, I retreated to study a bit, and as my 8 year-old helped the younger two with their breakfast (he toasted their tapioca bread) he apparently did not put the desired amount of peanut butter on each piece of toast, because their was a barrage of frustrated yells, and squealing (from my 3 year-old daughter), followed by a stern lecture from my already irritated 11 year-old. After silencing the dispute, and reminding everyone to be kind to one-another or say nothing, I went back to study. And the fighting would resume, and I would give the warning that it needed to stop, and it wouldn't, I fired off another warning, and another... and then "I hate you!" (coming from my 8 year-old, directed at his 11 year-old sister)
I responded, with, "That is unacceptable!"
"Well she..."
"But he.."
"You cannot blame anyone for your sin."
Silence, then the verbal altercation resumed. So, armed with Proverbs 13:24, I set my things aside and disciplined accordingly. Yep, as Mother Gothel says, "Great. Now I'm the bad guy"...
I refilled my coffee cup and headed back to the classroom to finish studying, well at this point I was more looking for and praying about inspiration for today's blog post... My 8 year-old was still very upset, so I called him over to my desk, hugged him and we began to talk. He tried to use his sisters actions to justify his own, and again I reminded him that we cannot use the sins of others to rationalize our own sin. He and I made peace, we hugged again, he adjusted his attitude to re-focus on his long drawn out Gideon Project, (he has to write a report on the story of Gideon if it were today, he has a really good idea, he is just procrastinating in getting it expressed in written, er, uh, typed form), and I told him, as it was just the two of us at that time, that he should probably apologize to his sister... He sat down at his desk and started his school work.
"Don't you think you should apologize?"
"I can't"
"hmmm...what do you think Jesus expects?"
With a silent look of conviction, he turned back to his story.
Pride.
I went on, staring at my blank "Add a New Post" page staring me in the face...would I write about boldness today? I had just watched another amazing video by Jeff Bethke and was so blessed by his boldness in sharing his faith by using the abilities God has given him, and how much objection and hatred that is spewed at him. So, yep, today I was going to be writing about boldness...
"Mom, what is pride?"
"Well, it is when we... why don't you look it up in the dictionary, if the definition says anything about lions it's the wrong one....on second thought look it up in the Bible dictionary."
"Mom, when was the lice plague?"
"It's the same as the plague of gnats... keep going to 'P','R' "
"Pride, arrogance, inordinate or unjustified self-esteem. (Proverbs 29:23)... what does that mean exactly?"
"Look up Proverbs 29:23."
"'A man’s pride will bring him low,
But the humble in spirit will retain honor.'... oh..."
"Yeah, oh."
So, rather than writing about being bold in our faith despite the rejection we face, proudly and boldly, lovingly proclaiming the name of Jesus and His message of love, grace, mercy, forgiveness and redemption...I am here writing about pride...
My kids struggle with it, I struggle with it, I pray that I would have a humble heart on my own, lest God assist me in getting there. When ever my kids try to tell me that they are already good [enough] at something, or they already know "all about" something, I gently remind them that a little humility goes a lot further than an over abundance of pride; because God can't work in a proud heart.
Sometimes we don't accept the truth from a younger believer (either physically or spiritually or both) because, of course we as "more mature Christians" know way more, what could they possibly teach us. Well, God sometimes uses those physically and/or spiritually younger than us to keep us humble, because He loves us and pride destroys us.
Our Savior, Creator of all, was beaten by His creation, mocked, stripped and nailed to a cross naked, wounded and bleeding, if anyone could be too proud for such humiliation, it is Jesus. The only One perfect to have justified pride, is the One Who is the most humble.
In my other blog, Life in the Step-Motherhood, I wrote in one of my posts about apologizing when we don't feel we did anything wrong. I drew from personally experience. I have had the Lord prompt me to apologize when I didn't feel I did anything wrong, my pride pushed me against the goads, I would pray "Lord, lift my pride away that I may have the humility to apologize with a heart that is right before You." Anyone can apologize because they are told to, but with the wrong attitude it is not acceptable to the Lord.
I am proud of my son, after a while I asked him if he had apologized to his sister yet, he said "No.", I asked if he thought he should, he said, "Yes." I reminded him to refrain from a generic "I'm sorry." and leave it at that. He looked at his sister (who refused to look him in the eye... pride...) and apologized for specific things, in a genuine tone. He wanted to hug her, she did not want him to, so he sat back down to work on his project.
As far as Ms. Hyde goes, I expect to have my daughter back later this afternoon. ;) She has a heart for the Lord, and He doesn't let her get away with too much... And I am thankful that I, like my daughter, can feel that conviction, not that I "enjoy" that icky feeling or enjoy seeing her have it, but that it reminds me that God loves us enough that He won't let us get away with anything. I pray that my kids will see too, that when I correct and/or discipline them, that it is because I love too much to allow them to continue in their sin without consequence.
I pray I can A. identify my pride, and B. defy it by praying for humility, that the Lord would give me the strength to remain humble in all things, especially in the my life in the motherhood, that I could be an example to my children.
Originally posted on my blog Life in the Motherhood on Jan. 29th, 2012
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